Fantastic Two Fourths
by Bailey Matutine
Summary: After winning the drama contest, Ranma is excited about the chance to see China. Up until he learns that the trip is actually into space. First main chapter has been posted. Revision pending.
1. The Launch

Ranma stared out the window as the Earth dropped away. Blasted into space. How did he get into these messes? He heard somebody moving behind him.

"Excuse me, can you tell me which way to the Tendo Dojo?"

"Ryoga, I really don't think I want to hear where you think we are."

"What? Ranma? How did you get to Hokkaido?"

Ranma looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know, you're actually pretty close this time. The spaceport was in Hokkaido. That sense of direction of yours is getting better."

"No trying to butter me up, Ranma! The time of your death is at hand, and s-wee!"

"Listen, Pork-butt, if we fight in here we'll break the place and then we'll BOTH die, and Akane too." Ranma put the glass of water he had been holding back in the compartment he had taken it from, then picked up the small black pig which was now glaring at him angrily, but refraining from attacking. "See China indeed," Ranma muttered, "from space. Come on, I don't want to deal with you, so, as loath as I am to do this..."

'I'm in space? How did I get here? Can I even say where on Earth am I now anymore?' Ryoga wondered, 'usually I at least stay on the same continent, and now I'm getting so lost that I'm not even on the right planet anymore? My life is a mess! Where's Ranma taking me, anyway? He said he was going to do something he regretted... is he going to throw me out of an-'

Ryoga's inner monologue was interrupted as he suddenly found himself thrown through the air. "Hey Akane, catch!"

"P-Chan! Thanks Ranma, that was actually thoughtful of you to bring him along for me." Akane smiled at him, holding Ryoga close, and causing Ranma to turn away in disgust.

"Yeah, well, I figured we couldn't leave him behind, I guess..." Ranma said more, but as he spoke, his words become more like mumbles, and nobody could make it out.

Ranma wandered back to the observation room he'd been in before and continued staring out the window. His sulking was interrupted, however, when some kind of alarm went off.

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Happosai, also currently sulking, as now all the pretty ladies were back on Earth while he was in space, looked up when the alarm went off. "Hotcha! Maybe we're being attacked by sexy space pirates!" With that, the diminutive pervert sprinted towards the airlock to greet the invaders he was certain would be coming through soon.

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Kuno Tatewaki and Gosunkugi Hikaru, currently staring out the window, saw the approaching anomaly before the sensors picked it up. Although they had been arguing about what it might be, when the alarm went off they stopped, looked at each other, and made their way to the reinforced center of the space craft, where they had been told they would be shielded from any harm.

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At the sound of the alarm, Akane quickly began looking for Ranma. Not that she wanted his protection from whatever it was that might be attacking the ship, just because she thought it was probably safer to stick together, even if she could handle whatever was coming on her own. P-Chan jumped out of her arms and ran off, but before she could chase after him, she heard a shout from behind her.

"Akane! There you are! Any idea what that alarm is about?"

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Ryoga ran through the spaceship looking for hot water. If he could change back, then he'd have a better chance of protecting Akane from this attack, whatever it was. Something red passed through his vision, but he ignored it, until his hooves began turning to stone.

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Happosai drummed his foot. The airlock wasn't opening! How was he supposed to see the pretty ladies if they didn't attack the spaceship? Happosai opened up the door himself and was nearly blown out the door by the rushing wind. Acting quickly, Happosai latched onto the frame of the door, just as something red passed through his vision. He could feel his arms stretching before he pulled himself back into the hallway and closed the door.

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As Kuno and Gosunkugi ran down the corridor, they felt something odd, and then a red wave shot down a corridor in front of them. Electricity began to arc from nearby terminals, striking Kuno, and causing him to fall, knocking down Gos in the process. Suddenly, as far as they could see, the ship was gone, and they were standing again, but still falling over. When they finally collapsed to the floor, they were in one of the escape shuttles, and Gosunkugi was unconscious.

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Ranma and Akane ran down the corridor to the escape pod Ranma had stashed Ryoga's pack in earlier. Turning back to glance down the way they had come, Ranma saw a wave of red energy, and quickly scooped up Akane so that he could leap towards the door. The wave reached them just as they reached the door, and for a few moments it appeared that Akane was surrounded in an aura of fire. The door slammed shut, and they launched. Back to Earth.

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Ryoga opened his eyes. All around him, the air seemed to be burning. And what was that rushing sensation?


	2. The PThing

As Ranma hit the button to close the doors, Akane noticed the bag sitting on one of the chairs. "Wait, Ryoga was on here somewhere? Hey! Don't close that door! We have to go back and get P-chan! And how come we didn't see Ryoga anywhere?"

"Oh, you know Ryoga, he probably wandered into a different escape pod thinking it was the toilet and launched himself back to Earth thinking he was hitting the light switch. Even as we speak, he may be wandering Paris, thinking he's in Tokyo. And what do you mean go back and get P-chan? Didn't you have him?"

"That's not funny Ranma. He's not that stupid," Akane groused, despite the slight smile she had on her face from the concept of somebody confusing those two cities, but then a frown crossed her face. "And I did have P-chan, but he jumped out of my arms when the alarm went off. I tried to tell you, but you just dragged me towards the escape pod. And now he's probably dead, and I'm never going to see my P-chan again." Akane began tearing up, and Ranma frantically tried to think of something to cheer her up so that she wouldn't cry.

"Don't worry, he's a smart pig, I'm sure he hopped into one of the escape pods before they launched. Look, take a glance out of the window. You can see that there are other escape pods that made it off."

The two teenagers looked out the window and there were, indeed, several other escape pods. Additionally, the spaceship they had just fled looked completely intact. Akane tensed up, rather angry. "Ranmaaaa, did you notice something? Perhaps that whatever that emergency was, it didn't warrant the escape pods? We just ran away from nothing! Idiot!"

"It wasn't nothing! It might have been some kind of explosion! And what about that red thi- Akane, you're burning."

"Don't change the subject like that! Do you really expect me to fall for a trick like that? I think I'd know it if I was on fire." Akane crossed her arms, which caused the flames around her hands to pass through her vision. "Ack! I am on fire! Put it out!"

Ranma hunted through Ryoga's pack, and, sure enough, there was a kettle full of cold water in there. He splashed this onto Akane, soaking her and putting out her hands.

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It had been a long ride back down to Earth, and Ranma had spent most of it apologizing for getting her dress wet. "Look, I'm sorry," he was saying, as they opened the door of the escape pod, "but you _told_ me to put it out! What was I supposed to do?"

The pair of martial artists stepped out of the escape pod and Akane's answer was silenced by a loud crunch. Turning around, they saw that something had just impacted the escape pod, going right through the metal and leaving a crater. There, at the bottom of the crater, was what appeared to be a pile of rocks in the shape of a pig, and it was moving.

Or, more accurately, stumbling. "P-chan? Is that you? What happened to you? You must be dazed, poor thing."

"Thing is the right word. Why do you think that that's P-chan, Akane?"

"Oh, be nice, Ranma! And I can just tell, okay?"

"If that's P-chan, and I say this very doubtfully, what _**did**_ happen to him?"

Akane thought for a moment. "That red wave. Maybe it was some sort of space version of Jusenkyo. It gave P-chan a curse that turns him into stone. I wonder if anybody else on the ship got turned into stone."

"No, just your head! If it was some sort of cursed thing, why didn't we change?"

Akane gritted her teeth as her hands and head caught fire again. "Idiot! It's only a theory! Maybe the two of us were protected because I was next to you and you already have a curse!"

"Uhhh... You're on fire again Akane. Maybe this theory of yours does have some weight to it. So now you're, I dunno, cursed with fire, and P-chan is cursed with stone. But then why don't I have another curse?"

"Maybe the magic decided you were already cursed with water? I don't know, magic is weird."

Ranma paled. "Do... do you think I DID get cursed with water? And any moment now water is going to cover my body, and then I'll never be a guy again, because I'll always be wet? Oh man, that would be the worst thing ever! Oh, no, wait! If that happens I could just stick with you all the time! You'd keep the water around me hot, right, Akane? You wouldn't let the curse win, would you? Please! You gotta set me on fire before the water gets me! Please, Akane, I need you!" As Ranma panicked, odd fluctuations made themselves visible through the air, and portions of Ranma's body disappeared and reappeared.

Akane backed away from Ranma, quirking an eyebrow. "You spaz. Calm down; if I'm any kind of judge, you've been cursed with void, to go with that empty head of yours. You turned a little invisible while you were freaking out like a big baby."

"I wasn't freaking out," Ranma protested, "I was practicing for next time we have to be in a drama contest. Pretty good, huh? I bet that with my skills we'll win the next one too!" Ranma chuckled uneasily and rubbed the base of his pigtail with his hand, hoping that Akane would be convinced.

"Well, whatever that was, it was entirely convincing that you were freaking out," Akane muttered, shaking her head at Ranma's antics. "Come on. We've got to figure out where we are and get back home. Grab Ryoga's pack, why don't you? We can give it back to him if we see him."

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"Where are all the pretty ladies? I want pretty ladies. I was sure we were going to be attacked by space pirates." Happosai wanted to cry. He was going to be stuck on here for another two days, there weren't any sexy space pirates, and on top of it all Akane and Ranma seemed to have disappeared.

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Some words possess a great deal of power, able to pierce vast distances and reach the coldest of hearts. Some words, if they're powerful enough, can even pierce stupidity. 'Please, Akane, I need you!' Genma shook his head to clear it. He must be imagining things. Ranma was up in space. There was no way that he could be hearing Ranma. But still... once Ranma and Akane got back he would see how well they were getting along. No need to go celebrate yet, but if this premonition turned out to be correct, he would break out the sake and streamers then.


End file.
